My grandmother’s companion in life was named Julian. He was just there from the beginning, right when I was born. He came to every Sunday night dinner, cheered at all of my school recitals, and had the kind of smile that crinkled up his whole face. He was basically a bonus grandfather for me.
But to me, he was always just Julian.
I lost him when I was still young, so I tend to associate him with my childhood. Julian was a creative man. I distinctly remember him helping me scale a drawing of an acrobat for a school project one evening. He always had a pencil in hand to sketch, draw, or transform a piece of paper. He was my first introduction to the magic of an artist’s world.
He was a creative spirit. He was unconditional love and support. He was laughter, joy and brightness. He was family, community, belonging, and home all wrapped into one.
He never doubted me.
So maybe by now, you’ve connected the dots. If you haven’t (zero judgement, my friend), “Finding Julian” is finding joy, finding creativity, and finding community.
We’re all so incredibly unique as human beings. We each have our own individuality, passions and eccentricities. He always reminded me to tap into that power and dream big, write stories and draw, draw, draw…
The last words he said to me when I visited him in the hospital were, “You’re not a little girl anymore. You’re a woman. I love you.”
And while I feel like I lost myself a little bit in between then and now, I know he saw me then. He saw the woman I would become. The woman I am today. He believed that no matter what, I would find myself again. That I would find happiness in my own little world, and create magic.
I want to be that source of comfort, support, and belief for other women. I want to be the person who guides and encourages you to unlock your true self. I recognize I may be a stranger to you, the reader, today. But please know, my intentions are honest, and they run deep within me.
Society has a tendency of wearing us down until we fit into a box. But the world is a divine place. We found each other here. Maybe that box is feeling a little tight.
My sincere hope is that I can guide you to finding your very own julian.
Beautifully said. Inspiring and thought provoking
This is so beautiful, Lauren.